PERSPECTIVE

Perspective

I read a quote the other day that resonated with me.

Hard times create strong men. Strong men create good times. Good times create weak men, and weak men create hard times. 

I think I have experienced all of these in my lifetime so far. Let me elaborate on this point and shed some light on why I feel so strongly about this. 

I truly feel I’m living my life in the opposite order mentioned above. When I was 16 and I met Danielle, I was weak, intimidated by her family, by life and by her. But Danielle gave me strength in ways she could have never known was possible. (Weak men create hard times)

As my life was progressing, I was gaining strength, momentum and beginning to feel comfortable in my new skin, we began to experience good times. Good times that shaped who we have become, how we live our life but unfortunately created a weak man. I was getting comfortable and quit growing. (Good times create weak men)

Then we decided to start a family, my typical guy instinct kicked in and I went to work, I worked hard for my family. My outside skin was callused, and I was ready for anything this world could throw at me. I was becoming a strong man, with goals and aspirations of greatness, juggling dividing my time between family, work, and all other facets of my life. (Strong men create good times)

Then the ultimate bomb was dropped right in my lap. My wife died. It shattered every bone in my body, cracked my heart, tore the skin off my bones and left me completely devastated, this was the hardest time in my life. To make this point even more personal, more complex, I look into our daughter’s eyes, the same destruction had happened to them. There looking at me as their sole provider, the lion who will fight for them, the man who is supposed to have all the answers. 

So, I closed my eyes and saw my beautiful wife smiling at me, looking into my soul with those glacier blue eyes. She told me, who can raise these girls but you, who knows me better than you, go fight for our family, be the example that with others will follow, go be that strong man I know you are. (Hard times create strong men).

So, I began to pray, putting my fears and concerns in God’s hands. Asking him to light my path and guide me through this dark tunnel of fear.

Even in death she teaches me, she loves me, she shapes me….

Lesson – Those we love never truly leave us. There are things that death cannot touch. I could have given up and not stepped up for my family. My perspective could have been, poor me, what am I supposed to do with all these issues right in front of me, with God in the distance, waiting, offering to help me, but my perspective was not clear. Or, God could have been so large in front of me, accepting my fears, loving my family, and shouldering the weight of my world, with my fears in the distance. This is the perspective I want to live; I know Danielle lived this way and I will do the same for our family.